A twenty-something Hawaii transplant living it up on the East Coast for the past 10 years (Boston and Stamford, CT). This blog is to document my daily adventures and things that I find cool, uncool, hilarious, awe-inspiring, and annoying. Please feel free to email me at hawaiigurlinct@gmail.com.
February 15, 2012
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"My daughter asked if I had gotten her anything for Valentine’s Day. I told her I gave her the gift of life 6 years ago and it was time she gave me a present to thank me for that."
- My boss is becoming my role model.
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He thinks he's a comedian
- Me:I'm so excited that you finally joined Goodreads!!! You'll love it. I'm obsessed.
- Ryan:(Looking for books to rate) Ooh, Twilight. Gonna rate that a 1. For awful.
- Me:You can't rate Twilight! You never read it!
- Ryan:I tried. I just didn't get that far because it was so bad I had to stop.
- Me:How far did you get?
- Ryan:The cover.
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K: Aren’t you going to Weight Watchers today?
Me: Nope. I gained 5 pounds, I don’t need that recorded anywhere. Plus I ate breakfast already - it’ll be that much worse.
K: But they’re giving out free snacks.
Me: Okay I’ll go.
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Aww!!! Tumblr Buddy - Thank you soooo much. Once again, you have outdone yourself. This Valentine’s Day package was wonderful. I wish I had a picture with everything all nicely wrapped, but I was too impatient for that.
The mental notes were my all-time favorite but there didn’t need to be quite so many boxes, all I need is “eventually forget” and “ignore.”
Also, gotta say, notes from my TB are really motivating me to not give up on this new-discovery of mine they call running.
And I hope you had a wonderful Valentine’s Day as well!
February 14, 2012
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Phew
I almost had an entry for DamnYouAutoCorrect. I wrote “Ryan’s Boss sucks” in an email. My iPhone changed it to “Ryan’s Dad sucks” (you know because those words are so closely related).
People the email was addressed to? Ryan’s dad.
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Papyrus was packed this afternoon with delinquents who didn’t get their act together until this afternoon - a.k.a. Just me and about 10 random guys fighting our way to the front of the Valentine’s Day rack.
Also!!! Day 14: Hearts - oops I’m so behind on my February daily pics.
February 11, 2012
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I’m sure that email will get to me any minute now.
February 10, 2012
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"One Planned Parenthood clinic does more in a day to prevent abortions than the entire Pro-Life movement does in a year."
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Helen Philpot (via feminishblog)
I went to Planned Parenthood in Boston during a Pro-Life protest in front of the building (not smart). I was accosted at the entrance and had my arm yanked back in an attempt to prevent me from entering (Boston police, where the hell were you?). I finally made it inside after being screamed at, called a whore, and told I would burn in hell for all eternity.
The reason I was at Planned Parenthood was to get birth control.
(via apsies)
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"To pass through Grand Central Terminal, one of New York’s exalted public spaces, is an ennobling experience, a gift. To commute via the bowels of Penn Station, just a few blocks away, is a humiliation."
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“A Proposal for Penn Station and Madison Square Garden,” from The New York Times. (via taylorlorenz)
Apt description.
(via timeoutnewyork)
As someone who used to start her commute at Grand Central and end it at Penn Station… I whole-heartedly agree.
(Source: fullcredit, via timeoutnewyork)
February 9, 2012
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The Awful Cover Letter All of Wall Street is Laughing About
1/23/2012
J.P. Morgan
Dear Sir or Madame:
I am an ambitious undergraduate at NYU triple majoring in Mathematics, Economics, and Computer Science. I am a punctual, personable, and shrewd individual, yet I have a quality which I pride myself on more than any of these.
I am unequivocally the most unflaggingly hard worker I know, and I love self-improvement. I have always felt that my time should be spent wisely, so I continuously challenge myself; I left Villanova because the work was too easy. Once I realized I could achieve a perfect GPA while holding a part-time job at NYU, I decided to redouble my effort by placing out of two classes, taking two honors classes, and holding two part-time jobs. That semester I achieved a 3.93, and in the same time I managed to bench double my bodyweight and do 35 pull-ups.
I say these things only because solid evidence is more convincing than unverifiable statements, and I want to demonstrate that I am a hard worker. J.P. Morgan is a firm with a reputation that precedes itself and employees who represent only the best and rightest in finance. I know that the employees in this firm will push me to excellence, especially within the Investment Banking division. In fact, one of the supporting reasons I chose Investment Banking over any other division was that I know it is difficult. I hope to augment my character by diligently working for the professionals at Morgan Stanley, and I feel I have much to offer in return.
I am proficient in several programming languages, and I can pick up a new one very quickly. For instance, I learned a years worth of Java from NYU in 27 days on my own; this is how I placed out of two including: Money and Banking, Analysis, Game Theory, Probability and Statistics. Even further, I am taking Machine Learning and Probabilistic Graphical Modeling currently, two programming courses offered by Stanford, so that I may truly offer the most if I am accepted. I am proficient with Bloomberg terminals, excellent with excel, and can perform basic office functions with terrifying efficiency. I have plenty of experience in the professional world through my internship at Merrill Lynch, and my research assistant position at NYU. In fact, my most recent employer has found me so useful that he promoted me to a Research Assistant and an official CTED intern. This role is usually reserved for Masters students, but my employer gave the title to me so that he could give me more work.
Please realize that I am not a braggart or conceited, I just want to outline my usefulness. Egos can be a huge liability, and I try not to have one.
Thank you so much for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Best,
Mark
We have a first-year position open at my company. I want to invite this guy in for an interview. I plan on asking him if he considers himself an efficient worker. I’ve also bolded the best parts.
